Bullying, Helicopter Parents, Everyone Gets a Trophy and PC Overkill

Last night I read a post from the Bryan on Scouting blog. If you are in BSA and you don't read this blog, I suggest giving it a look. I find some very useful information and advice from both the blog and from the scouter who comment. This post discussed the idea of singing for lost items. This is a tradition in many troops, and apparently some packs. I never gave it much thought as it isn't something that we did when I was a scout and it isn't something we do in the troop where I am a Scoutmaster, but I have heard of it. I say I haven't given it much though because it didn't seem like a big deal. Maybe a funny way to encourage scouts not to forget things. I wasn't the most outgoing scout, but my troop was a place where I felt comfortable. I generally didn't take things like this personally from fellow scouts the way I might have in school because I trusted and respected the boys in my troop. After reading this post, I gave it some thought and decided that, although it is generally meant "in good fun", I do not think it is appropriate for scout troops.

I don't think a single act of making a scout sing to have a lost item returned qualifies in any way as bullying. It is certainly a mild form of hazing. What I do think is that this sort of tradition encourages bullying and hazing within the troop. Similar traditions might include jokes/skits/songs with underlying or overt prejudice, rank privilege, games that single out or lose scouts (snipe hunting comes to mind), taking/hiding/damaging equipment, and other exclusionary practices. I'm not talking about requiring a scout to be a certain age or rank before participating in an activity for safety or need of a certain skill set to be successful, or about games that some scouts may be better at than others. I'm talking about the games and activities where certain boys are intentionally excluded or singled out for the "fun" of other scouts.There are certainly some gray areas here, but I think most leaders have a pretty good handle on what they are.

Many of the comments made in support of the singing for lost/misplaced items included some allowance that other scouts and leaders might participate in support of the scout who had to sing. This demonstrates that they understand it is an inappropriate practice since an appropriate consequence would not make it necessary for others to stand up and support the victim. Still, this is not bullying in and of itself unless it is a repeated pattern which singles out individual scouts while others are exempt either because they are less prone to being forgetful or because they are not made to sing, but it certainly promotes a culture where scouts feel comfortable mistreating other scouts. Moreover, there are more appropriate ways to deal with this situation.

An adult or youth leader for example could commend the scout who found the missing gear, and quietly remind the boy to whom the gear belonged that he should thank the finder for his honesty, helpfulness, and kindness. Not only does this reinforce the oath and law which is at the core of scouting, but it also models and promotes positive behavior.

This is not PC overkill or "wussification" as one leader called it in the comments. It is not an A for effort. We are still addressing the undesirable behavior, but in a positive, constructive manner. This is teaching our scouts the character which is the foundation of the scouting program. Games, skits and singing are for fun, not for punishment. Adversity does strengthen bonds, but we don't need to artificially create adversity. Learning survival skills, camping in harsh weather, pushing your physical limits in hiking, biking, and boating activities will present plenty of adversity for most scouts over which they can not only bond, but accomplish feats beyond what they thought possible to build both pride and strength of character. Abusing each other through coerced performances or physical punishment is not a necessary part of unit cohesion. Scouting is by no means perfect, just as the scouts and leaders who participate are not perfect, but we owe it to ourselves and to our children to be the best guides that we can be, and to constantly advocate for better behavior from both children and the adults who set the example.